Individual essay - Luna Cabré

Let The Lion Eat Them! 

By Luna Cabré.

Have you ever heard about the “inner child”? It is said that we all carry a little kid within us and that we need to satisfy this child from time to time. Whatever this means, it sounds creepy, doesn't it? Well, this odd child of mine (don’t get too upset, Axl) had never felt so melancholic before. It had an urge for watching one of those hilarious cartoons I used to watch with my brother and sister when we were little. Since this cute inner bastard is stronger than I am, I opened my laptop, went to YouTube and started to search among my favourite old cartoons for something to watch. Suddenly, a wild non-violent “Tom & Jerry” version appeared. Of course, my “Mini-Me” wasn't happy at all. Just to be clear, my “Mini-Me” is quite violent but it doesn't look like an egg. What’s more, this violent feature was actually turned on with this new version of the show.

 I’m going to be merciful with those of you who have never seen the original “Tom & Jerry” TV show before and tell you why this too-much-fresh-air thing is as annoying, ridiculous and frustrating as the baby-faced sun in “Teletubbies”. If you are asking yourself why a baby-faced sun would be irritating, you’re lucky and I have no reason to ruin your life. My humble opinion is that “Tom & Jerry” was, and will always be, the icon of violence in cartoons. Violence is the cheddar of the nachos in this TV show. And… Who the heck would want to eat nachos without cheddar? 

Old “Tom & Jerry” armoury isn't as abundant as the one from ACME but it’s still quite rich in content and doesn't backfire on the aggressor. Without the bombs, rat-traps, different guns, sharp axes, fork punctures, this show wouldn't have been as striking as it used to be. And without the hammer, mop, rolling pin, bowling ball, pan, golf club hits, this show wouldn't have been as funny as it used to be. Also, instruments were adapted not only to different geographical places but also to different moments in time. I don’t know about you but I think that a mace, a robot, a sword, a halberd, a futuristic gun or a battle axe is so much better than any conventional object. Don’t ask why, it’s something I'm treating with my therapist.

In fact, the extraordinary thing about all the previous objects is that all the inflicted harm is actually shown. Brutally and explicitly shown. However, this explicitness is necessary. The newest version of “Tom & Jerry” tries its best to maintain the basic feature of the show. Don’t hate me, they try… Every now and then, it’s possible to see a candle inside a mouth or a character being burnt by a hot cup of tea. However, it’s just not enough. It’s not possible to achieve it if a character is running across a full-of-broken-glasses kitchen as if it was walking down a hill full of daisies. Come on, man! It should at least hurt a little! Make a flinch, a yowl… Something!

“And then God said: Let there be light!”… And the producers made a gesture of “love” to Him or whoever dared to oppose them. It seemed that changing the whole essence of the cartoon wasn’t enough. It seemed that they needed to actually screw EVERYTHING up. When rays of light start to penetrate the dense and macabre haze of corporatism in the form of flying screw-drivers, aiming to leave a character K.O. for life, an almost impossible situation saves the day. Since it seems impossible to show the real consequences of getting holey, the character who is about to kick the bucket will magically find an umbrella made of steel or it will develop ultra-sight to evade the danger just in time. OK, I might be exaggerating a little. But, however extraordinary my imagination is, they evade those consequences that are essential characteristics of the show that most of us remember.

In the old cartoon, these screw-drivers would have reached the objective. What’s more, the natural result of ending up like a strainer would be clearly shown.  Have you ever noticed how detailed the captures of the injuries were in the old version? There wasn't place for saving one’s bacon. Take, for example, the hammer smashed tail, an icon from the show. Just in case you didn't realize how much it could hurt, if you couldn't tell that the hammer broke every single bone of it, an image of the beating swallowed tail tip would appear. Then, you could almost hear a voice saying “Fatality” before a “Hammer Wins” inscription emerged. In the “Tom & Jerry” version I treasure, reality is crude but real in the end.

It’s not that the newest version of the show sucks… Not at aaaaall… It’s just that it is so bad that I would personally ask someone to throw an iron at me. In the face, if possible. And it’s not that a cartoon with no violence is boring, but it should be at least realistic in some aspects. The main problem is that, no matter how hard the production tries, “Tom & Jerry” has become a dull cartoon; innocent persecutions and the changed core of the cartoon, bores the pants off everybody. This is for sure one of those cases in which original ideas are corrupted to get as more profit as possible. The corporation behind the TV show has shut all the blinds for originality. And just to be clear, it’s not a question of morals but of making money. “Tom & Jerry” has been adapted, modified and transformed to such an extent that if you change the main characters by some others, you would hardly recognise it. Michael Jackson is surely proud of this… Anyway, it’s getting more and more difficult to recognize the well-known “Tom &Jerry” cartoon that people remember from their childhood.

Tom and Jerry are now dead and the cause wasn't natural death; their skin wasn't ripped off and no train hit them. They were found with a “non-profitable” inscription stuck up to their heads. In a world in which money is the perfect excuse to do barely anything, corporations drain cartoons until there is not a cent, and no sense, in them. This is the moment we pick up the torches, the rakes and finish this catastrophe. Someone has to stop this. Justice has to be served. And my “Mini-Me” is starving…